“Are you Recovering”

“a life-changing event, one that changes how you view the world, how you view your relationships, and how you view yourself” …

These are very important words to me as they are a flag indicating that we need to take time, space and effort involving ourselves in the process of our recovery and our finding ourselves in order to live our life fully and from a heartfelt place. This in post response again from a friend who will say repeatedly… “When will you be over this” or “I hope you get healing from this”. I know that this subject makes them very uncomfortable yet at the same time I am dying inside, traumatized unable to step forward or backward.

This is the time for truth telling.

YES. This event can most definitely be perpetrated by your best friend, your business partner some one close.

YES. Abuse happens in surprising hurtful and destructive ways.

YES. We can recover and gain ourselves back from the hands of the petrator.

YES. There is a lot of forward, backward and all over as we gain ourselves and find the place where we can be whole and true.

YES. We will find through our recovery the innate ability to simply be ourselves.

From: National Sexual Assault Online – Rape – Abuse – Incest – National Network

How Long Does it Take to Recover?

Rape trauma is similar to other types of trauma, such as losing a child or parent. That means that there is no set time for recovery — it may take several months or many years. Surviving a rape or sexual assault is a life-changing event, one that changes how you view the world, how you view your relationships, and how you view yourself. But there is one thing many rape victims have in common: they do recover and are able to move on with their lives.

Rape Trauma Syndrome

There are three phases to Rape Trauma Syndrome:

Acute Phase: This phase occurs immediately after the assault, and usually lasts a few days to several weeks. In this phase, individuals can have many reactions, but they typically call into three categories of reactions:

Expressed — This is when the survivor is openly emotional. He or she may appear agitated or hysterical; he or she may suffer from crying spells or anxiety attacks.

Controlled — This is when the survivor appears to be without emotion, and acts as if “nothing happened” and “everything is fine.” This appearance of calm may be shock.

Shocked Disbelief — This is when the survivor reacts with a strong sense of disorientation. He or she may have difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or doing everyday tasks. He or she may also have poor recall of the assault.

The Outward Adjustment Phase: During this phase, the individual resumes what appears to be his or her “normal” life, but inside is suffering from considerable turmoil. In this phase, there are five primary coping techniques:

Minimization — Pretends that “everything is fine” or that “it could have been worse.”

Dramatization — Cannot stop talking about the assault, and it is what dominates one’s life and identity.

Suppression — Refuses to discuss, acts as if it did not happen.

Explanation — Analyzes what happened: what the victim did, what the rapist was thinking/feeling.

Flight — Tries to escape the pain (moving, changing jobs, changing appearance, changing relationships, etc.).

There are many symptoms or behaviors that appear during this phase, including:

Continuing anxiety

Severe mood swings

Sense of helplessness

Persistent fear or phobia

Depression

Rage

Difficulty sleeping (nightmares, insomnia, etc.)

Eating difficulties (nausea, vomiting, compulsive eating, etc.)

Denial

Withdrawal from friends, family, activities

Hypervigilance

Reluctance to leave house and/or go places that remind the individual of the assault

Sexual problems

Difficulty concentrating

Flashbacks

All of these symptoms and behaviors may make the individual more willing to seek counseling and/or to discuss the assault.

The Resolution Phase: During this phase, the assault is no longer the central focus of the victim’s life. While he or she may recognize that he or she will never forget the assault, the pain and negative outcomes lessen over time. Often, the individual will begin to accept the rape as part of his or her life, and choose to move on.

NOTE: This model assumes that individuals will take steps forward and backward in their healing process. While there are common phases, it is not a linear progression and will be different for every person.

Recovery from Rape Abuse Incest - Awaken Studio www.phillipcoupal.ca

Recovery from Rape Abuse Incest – Awaken Studio http://www.phillipcoupal.ca

 

Give yourself a break this holiday season. Here are some lovely ways to relax, ground and Awaken to your deeper self. Share with a community of Queer hearted Men in a safe, uplifting and respectful environment.
-♥-
Want to relax and simply breath? Come out to a Naked Yoga class for all Men
Tuesday December 16 – 8:00 pm
-♥-
Have you been naughty? or have you been extra nice?
Join the Kinky PLAY evening… We will be playing with Spanking and Role Play
Wednesday December 17 – 7:00 pm
-♥-
Perhaps you would like to give and receive erotic touch?
This experience can be a portal to peace and great fulfillment of your body.
Erotic Touch with Taoist Massage
Sunday December 21 1:00 pm
-♥-
Feeling more playful more sensual and sensuous?
This afternoon experience delivers respectful and honouring touch through playful request.
Sensual Experience with Tantric Exploration
Sunday December 28 1:00 pm
-♥-
Then again perhaps your heart would simply like to be witnessed, shared and honoured?
Gather with a circle of Queer Hearts willing to speak and hear.
Queer Heart Talking Circle
Sunday December 14 1:00 pm
-♥-
All of this simply too… Come out and share a movie.
Relax, enjoy the communal energy. No stress, no fuss, no need to do anything other than settle back and enjoy with a group of curious explorers.
Queer Heart Culture – Movie Night
Friday December 12 and again on December 26 7:30 pm
-♥-
Want to know more?
Contact Phillip at phillip@phillipcoupal.ca

Awaken Studio Toronto Touch Practice for Men Wednesday 7:00 pm www.phillipcoupal.ca

Awaken Studio Toronto
Touch Practice for Men Wednesday 7:00 pm http://www.phillipcoupal.ca

Sensual Touch Label Self Pleasure Label

Awaken Studio Toronto Queer Heart Talking Circle Sunday 1:00 pm www.phillipcoupal.ca

Awaken Studio Toronto
Queer Heart Talking Circle Sunday 1:00 pm http://www.phillipcoupal.ca

Orgasmic Yoga at the Awaken Studio Toronto www.phillipcoupal.ca

Orgasmic Yoga at the Awaken Studio Toronto
http://www.phillipcoupal.ca

Awaken Studio Toronto Naked Yoga for Men Tuesday 8:00 pm www.phillipcoupal.ca

Awaken Studio Toronto
Naked Yoga for Men Tuesday 8:00 pm http://www.phillipcoupal.ca

Lets Talk About Sex Label Kinky PLAY Label Kama Sutra Label Exquisite Connections Label

Awaken Studio Toronto Tantra Explorers for Men Wednesday 7:00 pm www.phillipcoupal.ca

Awaken Studio Toronto
Tantra Explorers for Men Wednesday 7:00 pm http://www.phillipcoupal.ca

Awaken Studio Toronto Erotic Touch with Taoist Massage Sunday July 20 1:00 pm www.phillipcoupal.ca

Awaken Studio Toronto
Erotic Touch with Taoist Massage Sunday July 20 1:00 pm http://www.phillipcoupal.ca

Erotic Healing Label Ecstatic Path Label

Programs & Events Fall 2014 Early Winter 2015 2014 Awaken Studio Toronto www.awakenstudiotoronto.com

Programs & Events
Fall 2014
Early Winter 2015
2014
Awaken Studio Toronto
http://www.awakenstudiotoronto.com

Awaken Studio Fall 2014 Events and Programs for Men who LOVE and Have SEX with Men www.awakenstudiotoronto.com

Awaken Studio Fall 2014 Events and Programs for Men who LOVE and Have SEX with Men http://www.awakenstudiotoronto.com

Awaken Studio Fall 2014 Events and Programs for Men who LOVE and Have SEX with Men www.awakenstudiotoronto.com

Awaken Studio Fall 2014 Events and Programs for Men who LOVE and Have SEX with Men http://www.awakenstudiotoronto.com

Phillip and HIS Kind… The search for… Community.

It feels like I have been searching all my life for a group that is like me.

I have decided to give up that search. I feel like I will never find that group. I feel that I will never find a group of men that will not want to make me change to be like them.

There has been a process involved with coming to the realization that I simply need to stay within myself.

The start of the process was the never ending feeling, thoughts and stories that I gave to myself and took into myself that there was something “WRONG” with me. This is an ever ingrained story that I have been taking and then placing on myself for all of my life. I felt as a young child that there was something “WRONG” with me. I did not want to play the way the other children played. As a teen ager and as a young man I felt that there was something “WRONG” with me. I did not want to socialize and “date” in the way that seemed acceptable. I wanted to be with others who were like me. The longing to be with those who thought like me began at this time of my life. I believe that it is in my teen years that I really began to feel that I was damaged and I was at this time that I began to really feel shame about who I was. As a young man I simply felt freakish and sought out others that were freakish. Our shared freakishness was never the same. I was simply comfortable to be together with another group that seemingly felt the same push back from the world around them. As I grew older I isolated more and more and felt more and more separate from the world around me. I was fortunate in that I had a great partner and we have had a wonderful life together. The separateness and difference became all the more evident to me as I grew older and I simply could not identify with the roles. The names, labels, the identities that the world put on me never seemed to fit, I continuously worked to fit and see if I could “morph” myself into an acceptable form. The cloak of shame had hardened into a shell of resistance to the world and to those that would push their identity onto me.

There have been many “morphs” in my adult life, as I would work in earnest and deliberate ways to change myself to fit the role that I thought would work best for me to fit into the place that I was at in my life. There has been a lot of pain and emotion in this desire and effort to simply “FIT” in. I have never “FIT” in.

Time now, with this latest foray into yet another world of men, to stop working, efforting and trying so hard to “FIT” in. It is finally time for Phillip to STOP searching. Finally time for Phillip to simply surrender to the fact that he is perfect just as he is.

For all my life I have never fit in. I am well beyond the middle of my life. It is time to rest assured in myself. Time to come out yet again as a builder of safety, a powerful being and a man full of the skills of life that make him able.

I have lots of experience as being and feeling safe, powerful and able. It is now time to build on these experiences of being, time to stand steadfast in my knowing that I am here to assist others in finding their own safety, their own power and their own ability.

I am curious about how this newfound energy and newfound sense of direction will work to build more safety, power and ability in the world around me, as I share my gifts and the truth and beauty of who I am with the world and the men that grace me with their presence in my life and in the community that I live in.

Today… Day 110 – November 28

I am grateful to know that I am blessed with the power to change.

I believe that the power to change our minds, our thinking is a direct channel to changing our behaviours, our actions and our hearts.

Gratitude Day 110 at the Awaken Studio Toronto http://www.awakenstudiotoronto.com

Gratitude Day 110 at the Awaken Studio Toronto http://www.awakenstudiotoronto.com

Join me in 365 days of Gratitude. Follow Juicy Heart at https://phillipcoupaljuicyheart.wordpress.com

Progress is impossible without change,

and those who cannot change their minds

cannot change anything.

  – George Bernard Shaw

 

Today… Day 109 – November 27

I am grateful to be alive, grateful to have moved away from the oppression and cruelty that I have witnessed.

I am grateful for the present moment. This is all there is.

I wonder what the world would be like if there was much more compassion in our human interchanges.

Gratitude Day 109 at the Awaken Studio Toronto http://www.awakenstudiotoronto.com

Gratitude Day 109 at the Awaken Studio Toronto http://www.awakenstudiotoronto.com

Join me in 365 days of Gratitude. Follow Juicy Heart at https://phillipcoupaljuicyheart.wordpress.com

Compassion

Compassion is at the heart of every little thing we do.

It is the dearest quality we possess, yet all too often it can be cast aside with consequences to tragic to speak of.

To lose our compassion, we lose what it is to be human.

Today… Day 72 October 20

I am grateful to live right now.

I am grateful for the present moment. This is all there is.

Breath and Life and Expansion

Gratitude Day 72 at the Awaken Studio Toronto http://www.awakenstudiotoronto.com

Gratitude Day 72 at the Awaken Studio Toronto http://www.awakenstudiotoronto.com

Join me in 365 days of Gratitude. Follow Juicy Heart at https://phillipcoupaljuicyheart.wordpress.com

Today…
I am dwelling in and feeling the power of yesterdays gathering at the Awaken Studio.
This group of men gathered to explore Erotic Touch, Taoist Massage and played in the intrinsic beauty that forms when men gather together and are honest, caring and compassionate with each other.
The manifestation of care, community and good spirit nurtures my soul.
Needless to say my heart is very open today, my awareness is acute and my senses are heightened. Oh how I wish I could be here forever.
Awaken Studio Toronto A Sanctuary for Safe, Wholesome and Uplifting Erotic Expression - www.phillipcoupal.ca

Awaken Studio Toronto
A Sanctuary for Safe, Wholesome and Uplifting Erotic Expression – http://www.phillipcoupal.ca


Men 4 Men Touch Exchange on Sunday afternoons take place on the third Sunday and fourth Sundays of the month.
Check the website at: http://www.phillipcoupal.ca/Touch-Exchange-Phillip-Coupal-Counselling-Coaching-Bodywork-Toronto-Gay-Men

Wondering? Send me an email at http://www.phillipcoupal.ca

 

Today… Day 71 October 20

I am grateful today for the Gladiola – The Sword Lily

This expression of the earth is a glorious representation of masculine and feminine and the powerful blending of opposites.

I adore the gladiola, the firm spikes of floral flesh and the brilliant buds of fertility that burst forth along the blade of the sword.

Gratitude Day 71 at the Awaken Studio Toronto http://www.awakenstudiotoronto.com

Gratitude Day 71 at the Awaken Studio Toronto http://www.awakenstudiotoronto.com

Join me in 365 days of Gratitude. Follow Juicy Heart at https://phillipcoupaljuicyheart.wordpress.com

Today… Day 70 October 19

  • I am grateful for the CHOICES I have and can make towards my LIFE and how I LIVE MY LIFE.
  • I am particularly grateful that I all have the ability to MAKE simple CHOICES.
  • That I am blessed with the option to LIVE my LIFE just the way I want.
  • I am so very fortunate to have the ability to MAKE MY LIFE MY OWN.
Gratitude Day 70 at the Awaken Studio Toronto http://www.awakenstudiotoronto.com

Gratitude Day 70 at the Awaken Studio Toronto http://www.awakenstudiotoronto.com

 

Join me in 365 days of Gratitude. Follow Juicy Heart at https://phillipcoupaljuicyheart.wordpress.com

Ecstatic Path weekend experience.

Create an EROTIC adventure.
Explore the path of PLEASURE.

October 31, Novemebr 1 and 2 at the Awaken Studio – Toronto
Registration is open. We are at 14 participants looking for 2 more.
This is proving to be the most dynamic group I have gathered.
I am looking forward to the power, peace and surrender that can be stirred in the cauldron of our creation.
Check the website at http://www.phillipcoupal.ca

Ecstatic Path weekend experience. www.phillipcoupal.ca

Ecstatic Path weekend experience. http://www.phillipcoupal.ca